The Burden of Maintenance Sex
Why women struggle and what you can do about it.
This week I’m answering the following anonymous question I received:
“My wife and I have sex maybe once a month. I understand that with kids, busy schedules, and needing to plan more, it’s harder to find the time or energy. But I miss that part of our relationship. How can I help her feel more open to doing it more regularly without pressuring her?”
Esther Perel, in a recent podcast interview, shared that while we don’t see maintenance sex in the movies, it plays an extremely important role for erotic couples.
“Not everything is a big production. Not every meal is a four-course meal. Some meals are very simple home-cooked food, but they’re no less pleasurable.”
The comments section popped off, highlighting a common dynamic shared between straight couples: maintenance sex works for men, but not so much for women.
I bring this up because it alludes to what you’re going through. And while I agree with Esther, there’s an important element that is missing from this discussion – why does mainten…