More Vacation Sex, Please.
How to bring that energy home.
“Sex is about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.” — Deepak Chopra
My favorite memories with my husband are by the sea, drinking wine and laughing about life. Usually in a bikini, salty, slightly bronzed.
What I love most is how much fun we have just the two of us.
In my early twenties, a friend gave one relationship advice that stuck: marry someone whom you can talk to for hours.
My initial reaction was “What about the sex?” But I’ve come to learn that without conversation, there’s no sex. Or rather, no good sex.
Over the last few years, our summer trips have been with groups of friends, in celebration of someone’s birthday. We’d sneak out here or there for some time alone, but our running joke was that we were too tired for sex. Too many plans, too many people, too little time.
This year, feeling exhausted by March and craving time alone, I suggested we head to two sleepy islands in the Greek Cyclades: Sifnos and Serifos.
From the moment we arrived, I felt a slow exhale. I deleted Instagram from my phone and it was the best decision I made all trip.
Without the pressure to share my life in real-time, to capture or curate anything, I could finally, fully rest.
That’s when something unexpected happened: I was so relaxed that my afternoon naps became vividly erotic. I would wake up ravenous for my husband.
Those first three days were some of the best sex we’ve ever had. We were present, we took our time and we devoured each other.
There were no schedules, no dinner reservations, no favors to do. It was just us, waking up slowly and finding our way back to each other.
For British author Alain de Botton, vacation sex is better because “a hotel separates the functions of your daily life to remind you of who that person was before they became so confused with other things.”
But for me, this trip wasn’t a reminder of who he was. It reminded me of who I am when I’m not always “on.” When I let my mind go quiet. When I’m not tracking clicks or clever captions or how to turn this moment into content.
On a recent podcast about intimacy after parenthood, the host Chelsea Kerzner asked me: How do couples bring that erotic vacation energy back home?
I told her that you have to understand what made it easier for you in the first place—and then try to replicate that.
One couple I worked with realized they had more sex every summer in a rented beach house because the bedroom had a built-in concrete bed frame. No creaking, no worrying if the kids would hear anything. That one detail made them feel freer. They ended up building the same style bed into their own home.
For me, the game-changer was deleting social media.
I even made a pact with myself: twice a year—during my summer and winter holidays—I’ll log off entirely. No Instagram, no posting, no lurking. Just being. I’m even thinking about extending it to weekends.
So consider this your gentle August invitation: Take some time to slow down in this last stretch of summer. Let your mind rest and let your body follow.
Your nervous system—and your sex life—will thank you.
Whenever you’re ready, here are 2 ways I can help:
Couples Intimacy Card Deck - Turn each other on, one question at a time. I created this for you and your partner to bring more connection, curiosity, and play into the bedroom. Get 10% off with code LUST.
Book a 1:1 Session - I help individuals and couples in long-term relationships find more desire, confidence, and connection—in and out of bed. One private hour, and you leave with a clear plan for what to do next.
Thank you for reading Lust in Translation. If you think anyone else would enjoy reading this too, please share it with them.
Reading this while on vacation is wild - thank you! 😊
😍😍