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Roughly 70% of women rarely feel aroused out of the blue, and spend years believing something is wrong with them. They think they have low libido, when in fact what’s often missing is the stimulation of their imagination. They say they don’t have fantasies, or know how to cultivate them.
If you’re not new here, you’ve heard me say this: your largest sexual organ is your brain.
I’ve found that the women who are most attuned to their sensuality and desires are the ones who read erotica (including yours truly). And the research backs this up: women who regularly consume literary erotica report higher levels of sexual arousal and satisfaction (Lehmiller, 2018).
But what is it about this medium that works so well, especially for women?
There are two layers:
Reading is an incredible relaxation tool. As little as 6 minutes of reading can slow heart rate and reduce stress, making it one of the most effective ways to remove the barriers (anxiety, mental load, performance pressure) that prevent women from accessing desire.
Women’s desire thrives in rich storytelling and plot lines. Psychological research confirms that narrative-based erotic content engages emotional and imaginative regions of the brain alongside arousal.
In fact, men have a 50% overlap between their physiological genital response and their subjective experience of desire, while women only have around a 10% overlap.
The body and the brain are frequently operating on separate channels in women—and literary erotica engages the brain, where female arousal truly lives.
If you’ve ever wondered why the romantasy genre is so popular amongst women, this is why. However, romantasy (literature that combines romance with fantasy, often in the form of fictional worlds like dragons, magic and fae) doesn’t vibe with everyone.
That’s why Carly Pifer, today’s guest, created Aurore. It’s a space for writings based on our own, real experiences. As she likes to put it: it’s as smart as it is sexy.
There’s a reason why p*rn doesn’t resonate with many women, and why literary erotica does.
What I personally love about Aurore is that there are over 300 stories and it offers a playful way for you to sample different scenarios, learn what actually lights you up (and what doesn’t), and bring those discoveries back into your own sex life.
Here are two snippets from different moments of a story called My Favorite One Night Stand:
“With my back flush against his broad chest, I let the music take over my body, rolling my hips into his as his fingers intertwined with mine. We moved together, sweat beading at my hairline, a bolt of electricity moving through me every time his hips ground into me from behind, feeling his cock grow harder with each hip roll. I turned to face him, letting my hands graze over his chest and down his sculpted arms, and then reached up to wrap a hand around the back of his neck, feeling the hairs rise in response to my touch. His hands gripped my hips, still swirling to the music, as he leaned in and kissed me.”
“His lips were on my neck, soft and then scraping as he slowly unraveled, his growls in my ear reverberating through my entire body as my moans echoed off the tiled walls. One of his hands slid between my thighs and he stroked my clit, slowly, achingly. My legs quivered and he wrapped one arm around me to hold me upright.”
In our conversation, Carly and I go deeper into how women fantasize: we talk about responsive versus spontaneous desire, body image and turning insecurity into eroticism, “real‑eaters” and why emotional safety matters so much, common fantasies, and how writing erotica can help people rewrite painful sexual or relational experiences.
Before Aurore, Carly was a writer with bylines in Vogue, Brooklyn Magazine, Slate, Refinery29, and Vice, and she now holds erotic writing workshops to guide people through the healing power of verbalizing their desires and commemorating the best sex of their lives.
If any of this resonates, I hope literary erotica can be a great source of inspiration for you to explore what turns you on.
And in that process, talk about, and even act on, your fantasies.
If you’re curious to explore more, you can browse additional teasers here, and if you decide to subscribe to Aurore, use code NATASSIA for 10% off.
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